Problems With Dating Friends

Is Dating a Friend a Good Idea? They should be loyal, understanding and share the same interests as you — all great grounds for a successful relationship. But while friends dating might sound like the perfect answer, we all know it can be fraught with problems. Consider the consequences Are you prepared to lose your friendship over this relationship? The bonus of friends dating is that you are already comfortable with each other so will bypass the customary awkward stage that most couples endure.

You also know you both care for each other. But, do you really think it will last? Consider your motives — are your feelings merely physical or are they more deep-rooted? Look for hints Read the signs to see if the feeling is mutual. If they are dropping hints verbally or physically then dating your friend will be a natural progression. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our problems with dating friends of chemistry.

Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows? Yet, the lack of sexual heat was an indisputable fact. Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it? Still, the break-up--understandable and inevitable though it was--hurt. And it had me convinced I would never find love. After problems with dating friends, if I couldn't make it work with this person I cared so deeply about, and got along so well with, how in the hell was I ever going to make anything work?

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below It took a few months before Jake and I began problems with dating friends hang out again. But then one afternoon, after we'd both independently moved out of D. We had always been in tentative e-mail, even after the split. Online dating class texted Jake, told him I was nearby, that I'd get out of the salon around dating over 50 sites did he want to grab a drink at that point?

And thank Buddha for that, because, have I mentioned I adore this person? Dear me, I'm even tearing up a little as I write this. Anyway, the experience has me convinced that BOTH friends need to feel pretty strong chemistry before they move from being platonic pals to romantic partners. Otherwise, I think the chance of it working out are slim. Which brings me to my thought about THE FACTORS THAT SHOULD BE IN PLAY BEFORE YOU START DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND 1 A mutual and intense desire--ON BOTH SIDES--to give it a whirl.

By that, I mean: Think twice before getting involved with your best friend if problems with dating friends of you are motivated by feelings other than love, longing and desire. If, instead, the catalyst seems to be a tragedy like a death in the family or even a great personal victory like a big promotion or selling your first movie scriptyou might want to hold off a month or two, and re-assess then.

Sometimes major life events can cloud our judgement, and make us so depressed--or euphoric--that we make bad decisions. Similarly, don't start dating your best friend if you've just been brutally dumped by someone and you're feeling bad about yourself--or if your friend has just had a similar experience. If he's just broken up with someone after realizing how much he cares about you, that's a different story!

If you suspect your friend might have a drinking problem, or you think you are struggling with an anxiety problem or other psychological disorder, I'd hold off temporarily on changing the boundaries of your relationship. Make sure whomever needs the help gets some treatment, and then let the dust settle for a month or two. If, after that, your feelings are as strong as ever, take the risk. What do you orange county dating service, guys?

Does all this sound on target to you?

Dating Friends: Should You Date Your Friends?

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